Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Just Call Me Scrooge!!

Okay, so I am a little peeved. No, strike that. I am A LOT peeved. "Why?" you may ask. I hate Christmas. And not because of Christmas itself, but for the stupidity that is inescapably revealed during the Christmas season.

So what is today? The 4th of December. 21 days until Christmas (or 21 "shopping" days per the Wal-martian calendar). But seriously, do we need 21 FULL days of Christmas shows and cartoons on TV, carols on the radio, aisles dedicated to nothing but ornaments and garland and the frowning life-hating bell-ringer in front of EVERY store in America?

But 21 days is actually being conservative. Did everyone have a nice Pre-Christmas (the holiday formerly known as Thanksgiving)? Why do I call it Pre-Christmas? Because this is when the insanity starts. In fact, it starts prior to Thanksgiving. I don't think I properly recovered from the thrills of Halloween before I was bombarded by Christmas aisles at Wal-mart and the Celebrity renditions of "Jingle Bells" on the radio.

So, really, do we need a month and a half of Christmas to get us in the Christmas spirit, just to have it whisked away in a morning of opening presents? Why is there no residual Christmas until January 1?

Now back to the first paragraph. Why am I peeved? I sat down tonight to watch NCIS, only to be disappointed by an airing of Frosty the Snowman! MY KIDS ARE IN BED!! (Or at least, they should be!) Which is logical, being a school night. If networks find it necessary to air EVERY Christmas movie ever made prior to Christmas, why not make it a movie marathon on a Saturday, when kids are actually around to watch it and doesn't interfere with the normal TV watching habits of adults. And make it the weekend before Christmas, I would even be okay with the 2-3 days before Christmas.

Radio stations should do the same. Why do I need to listen to every celebrity's rendition of "Jingle Bells" or any other classic Christmas song? I personally think there are only 20 different Christmas songs. But the radio stations rotate through all of them with a different artist singing each one. "Here is 'Jingle Bells' as sung by.....Garth Brooks.......the Beastie Boys.......Marilyn Manson.......the Rolling Stones........ Metallica..........Hootie and the Blowfish......" Get my point?

So you know what I was thankful for on Pre-Christmas day? THE BLACK FRIDAY ADS, of course. What better way to ring in the Christmas season than by compiling a greedy list of all the things that you want for Christmas. Things that will require your loved ones to deprive themselves of sleep, waking up at 0-dark:30, in order to beat all the other ungrateful, ignorant people, whose idiocy is running rampant, to the limited supply (purposely limited by retailers) of those particular things. All to get the "perfect gift" to show just how much they love you! Stupidity I tell you.

Well, I've ranted and raved long enough. See what a simple hour of NCIS would have saved you all from reading!! Ba-Humbug!!